Yesterday I went and saw the good doctor about my hip. He was awesome and specializes in sports medicine and knew exactly what he was talking about. After an x-ray, some poking, prodding, and stretching, he told me what I knew all along: Laura, you have hip bursitis. Actually, I blurted it out before he could and he was impressed with my self-diagnosis. Dang it, I should have gone to med school.
He proceeded to give me a pamphlet full of stretches that I will need to do to heal the area. In the meantime, I could take an anti-inflammatory and he could also give me a cortisone shot to the hip to mask the pain for the next month or so and then I could go back for another one before the run. I have a pretty high pain threshold (I hear those things hurt) so I said, "Give it to me doc."
The nurse pulled out a 4" needle on a huge syringe filled with white stuff and the good doctor put it right into my hip, and instantly I could feel the exact area that the pain radiated from. It was like having a huge bruise and someone was pressing their finger smack dab into the middle of it. But I didn't care...anything to ease the pain and let me run again.
After that was over he said the words that still I don't know if I should laugh or cry over. When he asked how far up I was on my mileage and I said 4 miles, he looked concerned and shook his head. His exact words were, "Laura, I'm going to be honest and realistic with you. You are not going to be able to run a half-marathon...not this one, not any half-marathon. Some people can distance run, some people can't, and you can't. I don't want you to have any false expectations."
Wow. He said it out loud. I can't do it. I've known all along I would be walking a big portion of the half, but I don't know if hearing him say that should be a relief so that any pressure I've had on myself is taken off, or if I should cry because now I'm really going to come in dead last on race day and might be in some serious pain when it's over.
The good doctor told me that he would do everything in his power to get me across the finish line and he re-vamped some of my training to include more walking and less running in my workouts.
Now I'm left with the realization that this half-marathon will without a doubt be the hardest physical thing I've ever done in my life. I will be in pain. My knees and ankles are going to start to bother me next (says the doc), and if I do finish, it's not going to be a pretty picture. I hope you can all come out on race day...not so much to cheer me on anymore, but to carry me out of there if I can cross that line.
So what do you think? Should I feel relieved or terrified?
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Wow! What a "time of trial" you are going through. All I can say is keep looking forward - you have come so far already in your training. And if you walk most of the way, then so be it - others do it too!! This experience will be such a great source of inspiration for Landon when he reads his Aunt Laura's blog. Keep up the good work...we are so proud of you and love you so much!!!
ReplyDeleteI wish I was there to give you a long hug and then take you out to get sloshed. We could talk about how much it sucks and then you could cry your anger and frustration and resentment out. Then, we could crash and wake up the next morning, go for a long walk. I'd remind you that no one gives a damn about being last. That what you're doing is a testament to your love of family and hopes for yourself. Which would inevitably remind me of the reasons why I'm doing this too.
ReplyDeleteThen we'd go inside, make a delicious meal, and play with Penny - who will wag her tail and remind us the amazing things in life that we often forget.
Here Here, Cas! You know what this story reminded me of? Those Cancer Center commercials where the patient says they were given a death sentence and yet are now surviving because of their personal determination to live (and the Cancer Centers of America). If I know one thing about you, Laura, it is that you WILL finish that race. Running or not. First or not. You WILL finish! And we will all be there to cheer you on...and carry you off if needed! You do your part, we will do ours!
ReplyDelete"People will come from east and west and north and south, and will take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God. Indeed there are those who are last who will be first, and first who will be last."
ReplyDeleteThe Lord is already there, Laura Lynn. He knows what will come, what pain you may or may not have to endure, and He is going to hold you in His everlasting arms and get you through this; just as in the same way He is holdng Landon and will get him through his trials.
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."